The Story of Us…..
Where it all began…...
August 6th, The 1980’s: A baby boy wails into the night, born on the bathroom floor. Firemen come to the aid of the mother and witness something astounding. They say flames shot out of the baby’s eyeballs.
December 16th, The 1980’s: Fierce storm clouds fly across the sky. Somewhere in a quiet hospital a woman gives birth to a baby girl. The sky empties it’s torrents onto the world. A little over four and a half billion people manage to survive.
August 6th, A Year Later: The firemen return to the house of the boy they now call the Flaming Eyeball. One of them bravely tosses a stuffed bear at the creature. They tear away in their fire truck as the boy tries to devour the bear, swearing in rage when his gums are too weak.
December 16th, A Year Later:
The girl’s family pays fealty to her on her first birthday and offer the gift of cake. The girl is displeased by the meager gift and she throws it across 3 counties and smashes it into her hair. From that day forward no cake is safe.
Fast forward to 2011-2015:
Michael enjoys living in Portland but feels like something is missing. He proposes living in Belize.
Michael and Tara visit Belize and spend the whole time on an island learning nothing much about the actual country.
About a year later Michael starts talking about a tiny house. Tara pretends not to hear him.
Michael becomes vegan.
Another year later Michael starts climbing (bouldering) and he falls head over heels. Climbing is the hottest bi$%c he’s ever met. He can’t get enough.
Four months after that he blackmails Tara into going for his birthday. She also falls in love and they begin their geriatric climbing career.
Michael and Tara get RV and quit their jobs, neither of which made them happy. They decide to become bums and hopefully not plunge off the edge of some cliff while living and driving in said RV. They sell house and take off to travel the country with an old grumpy dog and two cats and do some outdoor climbing and eat some good vegan food. To hike and see the beautiful outdoors. To check out places they’ve never been before. And to see some stars.